Having a conversation with mum about what the baby will sit in when it’s not asleep, feeding or in its cot. She said she had two options when I was a baby, the baby bouncer placed in front of the washing machine or T.V! A simple one piece of fabric stretched over a thin metal frame that could be slipped off, washed, dried and refitted or an aeroplane that fitted to the door frame that dad used to complain that it chipped the paint off the woodwork! However mum used that aeroplane daily as she said I looked like I was in River Dance with my little legs!
I looked at mum with confusion on my face! Seconds later out came the photo album! The only way I can describe the pictures is ‘mortified’ I didn’t know if it was looking at the ‘device’ I was sat in or the hideous clothes I was wearing! Either way it made me think.....
I decided to have a cup of tea with mum and getting the iPad out I showed her what I had in mind. The google search for ‘bouncers’ produces thousands of images! Mum nearly died when you can buy something for £300 that makes washing machine noises and doesn’t ever wash the clothes!
After a cup of tea mum wanted to know what the difference was between a £300 bouncer and one at 10% of the price. So there was only one thing for it. Off to our local independent nursery store. Like mum and I can refuse any opportunity to shop!
Now girls Black Friday means a 7kg washing Machine for £250!!!! So why not buy a new machine, £30 on an amazing new bouncer to put your bundle of joy into and that leaves £20 for a cheeky takeaway to keep the other half happy, don’t worry he doesn’t even know where the washing machine is let alone what it looks like!!!
To walk into a store and be confronted with 13 different designs, which pretty much all look the same. You sit a baby in them, and what’s more they are all grey. Mum wanders off around the store and 5 minutes later I hear her screech. Your baby can be a ‘river dancer’ too!
Mum is stood talking to the store assistant who is demonstrating what can only be described as a huge contraption, that looks like it would take over my pristine ‘hinched’ living room. Mum was stupidly excited playing with what they called a weighted baby, which frankly looked like an alien.
Looks like the decision is made, she is the grandparent that wants to spend money on the huge contraption and I pick a sleek compact folding bouncer, that will look good in my living room. Mum is yet to realise the other thing is going to her house.
So with those decisions made, we continue to browse. Walking around the store mum's picking up one of every blanket, forgetting that we already have thirty five at home!
Even before I knew I was pregnant, she started knitting. I think mum forgets I am having a baby not a litter.
Mum's moaning at me, saying it’s times like this I wish you knew what you are having, we could be buying PINK. Mum's clearly excited and doesn’t look like she will be leaving the store anytime soon. Her next question was “do you have a baby bath?” Wandering over to a large pile of baths it’s mum’s second chances to have a dig about knowing the sex of the baby so she can choose between pink or blue, rather than white.
Standing staring at the area containing bath time related products I was confronted with what can only be described as a B & Q bucket. The store assistant explained that babies like to be in this position whilst having a bath as it reminds them of the featal position. I thought the woman was joking, but judging by the look on her face, clearly not. “Let’s just get the white one mum”, walking to the counter loaded up with rubber ducks, hooded towels and things I didn’t realise we needed I was definitely ready for a Starbucks and piece of cake!
As I am paying for our items, mum is still wandering round the store, she shouts “shall we look at furniture?” I said no it can wait for another day right now it’s time for cake!